No Way to Treat a Lady

Book, Music, & Lyrics by
Douglas J. Cohen

Based on the novel by William Goldman

No Way To Treat A Lady
Jack Noseworthy, Kevin Symons, Heather Lee, Erica Piccininni

Musical Direction
Scenic Design
Lighting Design
Costume Design
Hair and Wig Design
Sound Design
Properties Design
Additional Choreography
Production Stage Manager
Public Relations
Technical Director
Set Construction
Production Crew

Scenic Artist
Assistant Costume Designer
Assistant Sound Designer
Sound Engineer
Light Board Operator
Spot Operators
Stage Crew
Cover Art

West Hyler & Shelley Butler
Dean Mora
Sibyl Wickersheimer
Jeremy Pivnick
Paloma Young
Joni Rudesill
Drew Dalzell
Jane Lanier
Vernon Willet
David Elzer/Demand PR
Robert T. Kyle
Elephant Set - Studio Scenery
A.C. Bradshaw, Sean Kozma
Christopher Rivera, Daniel Tuttle
Alex Calle
Erica Rice
Rebecca Kessin
Sean Kozma
Kathryn Horan
Ross Hobbie, Christopher Rivera
Andrea Dean, M.E. McElveney
Brie Quinn, Amanda Ragan
Ricky Vodka
Michael Lamont

(in order of appearance)

Morris Brummel
Flora, Alexandra,
Carmella, Mrs. Sullivan, Sadie
Christopher "Kit" Gill
Sarah Stone



Dean Mora
Matt Germaine
Art Gibson
Ray Frisby



I Need A Life
Only A Heartbeat Away
So Far, So Good
Safer In My Arms
I've Been a Bad Boy/
What Shall I Sing for You?
The First Move
I Hear Humming
I Need A Life (Reprise)
Lunch with Sarah
So Far, So Good (Reprise)
Front Page News Preview/
You're Getting Warmer

Morris, Kit, Flora
Kit, Mrs. Sullivan
Morris, Sarah
Kit Carmella

Kit, Morris, Alexandra
Morris, Kit, Sarah
Flora, Morris
Morris, Kit

Kit, Morris


Front Page News
So Much in Common
Front Page News/
What Shall I Sing for You (reprises)
Once More from the Top (Preview)
One of the Beautiful People
I have Noticed a Change/Morris Life/
Once More from the Top
Front Page News/
What Shall I Sing for You (Reprises)
So Far, So Good (Reprise)

Kit, Morris, Sarah, Flora
Sarah, Flora, Morris

Sadie, Kit

Sarah, Kit, Flora, Morris

Kit, Alexandra
Morris, Sarah

Summer, 1970

New York City

No Way to Treat a Lady
Production History

William Goldman's novel No Way to Treat a Lady was first published under the pseudonym Harry Longbaugh, the real name of the Sundance Kid. His career in Hollywood was launched when Cliff Robertson read the galleys of the novel and hired him to work on the screenplay for Charley. Goldman was fired from that film, but Robertson recommended him to write the screenplay for Harper, which starred Paul Newman and became a smash hit. (Goldman writes of this episode in his book Adventures in the Screen Trade.)

He went on to write the Academy Award-winning screenplays for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and All the President's Men, among many others, as well as the novel and screenplay The Princess Bride. No Way to Treat a Lady was the first of his novels to be sold to the movies, and was produced by Paramount Pictures in 1968 starring George Segal as Detective Morris Brummell, Lee Remick as his girlfriend Sarah Stone, Rod Steiger as the killer Christopher Gill, and Eileen Heckart as Morris's mother, Flora.

After seeing the movie, Douglas J. Cohen was inspired to read the novel, and the idea for a musical version of Goldman's story was born. No Way to Treat a Lady, the musical, had its world premiere in 1987 Off-Broadway at the Hudson Guild Theatre. Cohen sent demo recordings from that production to Rod Steiger and Lee Remick, and received gracious responses from both of them. Steiger personally called to say how much he liked it. Remick wrote a letter which stated, "I think the score is absolutely wonderful, and it makes me realize that I wish it had been a musical in the first place!"

After productions and workshops at several prestigious regional theatres, No Way to Treat a Lady returned to Off-Broadway's York Theatre Company in 1996 with significant revisions and new songs, and the limited run was extended due to popular and critical acclaim. Since then it has had professional productions in many major cities in the U.S. and Canada and been translated into five languages for productions abroad. Currently, there is a production running in Amsterdam and another touring Sweden.

The Colony production marks its Los Angeles premiere.


Derek Bjornson, Brad Brown, Gabrielle Harwood & The Laguna Playhouse,
Barbara Hogenson, Ray Lorme & Linoleum City, Steve Orich, Alby Potts,
Mary Beth Rim, Matt Smedal, Phil Torf & House of Props,   
Wadler Data Systems, Peggy Burt & Hilary Thomas from Lineage Dance Company